Neurodivergent Burnout

If you look up the dictionary definition of burnout, you'll find something along the lines of:  "the reduction of a fuel or substance to nothing through use or combustion". 

This definition creates a visual image in my mind of a campfire, burning down to nothing - the logs spent, the embers dying out.   Sitting round a campfire and enjoying the warmth and light of the flames can be a lovely experience.  Eventually, the fire burns out - the logs combusted.  And then….. there’s just the cleaning up to do.  Argh! 

If you've ever been camping, you'll know that feeling of seeing the sorry looking remains of the campfire, with nothing but ash left, blowing in the wind, making a mess that now needs sorting before you can get your morning cuppa brewing up.   The burnt out remains now scattered across the campsite contrast with the warmth and comfort of the previous night's fire.  As a fan of the (occasional!) camping trip, I know all too well that crushing feeling of looking out at the spent, messy campfire and realising there's cleaning up to be done to take care of the night before - whilst my fellow campers seem to still be snoring peacefully!   

Last night’s fire: now a depleted pile of ash

The depleted campfire image is a helpful metaphor for what burnout feels like for us as humans.  That sense of feeling spent and being reduced to a shadow of your energetic self can feel messy, overwhelming, and upsetting.  Feeling like you have nothing left to give, and no energy or enthusiasm to muster is difficult.  As is facing the pressure from others or even yourself to keep going when there's no fuel, no logs, left. 

In previous blogs, I've explored signs and symptoms of burnout and ways to manage and support yourself if you face burnout.  Here, I want to address a specific form of burnout - neurodivergent burnout.  The experience of being neurodivergent (ND) in a neurotypical (NT) world is draining and can lead to a "combustion" of energy and resources at a quicker rate.  Taking the campfire image - being Autistic, or an ADHDer (for example) in a NT world can be compared to lighting a campfire in windy conditions - the extra oxygen means the logs combust at a quicker rate.  The flame burns hotter and the energy within the logs is consumed at a faster rate, potentially leading to the campfire burning out whilst you still need light and heat and whilst people around you are asking (or demanding!) when their campfire meal will be ready.   You’ll need to work extra hard to keep adding logs, and trying to construct some sort of protection from the wind if you want to ensure you don’t run out of fire fuel.  The rate at which logs burn out is very much dependent on the environmental conditions.  With different environmental conditions (less wind), the logs will be able to sustain a steady flame and heat over a longer period and you won’t have to work anywhere near as hard to keep the fire going.   In a similar way, some work, school and social environments mean ND people find they need to put more energy into everyday tasks and encounters and, as a result, are at greater risk of being depleted of energy and resources - whilst still being expected by others to perform. 

Being ND in a NT world can feel like you need to work extra hard to keep the fire burning.

Some life environments support ND people to thrive and excel.  I'm thinking here of the workplaces that offers quiet working spaces and flexibility on when and where you take breaks and where there's plenty of notice of changes that will take place.  Or College and University settings where there can be flexibility on how people demonstrate their learning and understanding, for example.   Sadly, some environments offer less flexibility and support, some places work to a "one size fits all” approach.  The result?  ND people can feel under pressure to work harder and to mask and endure difficulty.  In such environments, everyone loses out.  The environment reduces the opportunity for the strengths that ND brings to the workplace (or college / university / social space) to be seen and known.     

In a recent study[1] on ND burnout, one participant spoke of the "strain of trying to live up to demands that are out of sync with our needs".   That study was published with the creative and descriptive title of "Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew".  Autistic (and other forms of ND) burnout really can feel like the combusted campfire that now requires cleaning up before any coffee or porridge can be made (whilst simultaneously feeling the pressure to get the kettle on to provide for the other campers).  This strain places ND people at increased risk of burnout. 

The strain of living up to demands in a NT world can feel overwhelming and disorientating, leading to burnout.

It's good to see that in recent years there is a growing awareness of neurodiveristy and the importance of flexibility and inclusivity in making spaces and environments accessible for ND and NT people.   There's plenty of work still to do here to adjust systems and environments.  That means ND people are still impacted by the stress and strain of masking and being misunderstood, dismissed or gaslit ("everyone has these experiences, you just need to try harder").   I'm interested in this and aim to make my counselling processes and environment supportive and inclusive - with less strain and less need to live up to NT demands.   I want to meet you as you are, with your own unique strengths and challenges.  It's important to me to hear from individual clients what helps or hinders them and what they need - I stick by the motto "if you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism".  The same applies for any flavour of “neuro-spiciness”.  This means when people first contact me about potentially working together either face-to-face, here in Preston or via online therapy, I'll ask about any reasonable adjustments or needs that can help to reduce unnecessary strain or demands.  And I'll continue to enquire and think creatively about how we can adapt counselling to be inclusive to your needs. 

So - coming back to our campfire image.  One thing I love about campfires is the chance to sit and watch the flames, and ponder deeply.  I might become contentedly lost in my own thoughts and reflections or chat deeply about topics with my campfire companions.  And so, whether you see or know yourself to be ND or NT, I offer you the following campfire inspired questions to support you with your own reflection and ponderings:

What environments lead to you combusting “hard and fast”. What do you need as a result?

·       What sort of environment causes you to combust hard and fast?

·       What makes it more likely that your energy reserves will burn to nothing before too long?

·       What do you need to maintain a steady glow of energy that feels comforting and doable and allows you to be your best? 

·       What do you need when you experience others' expectations about "having your campfire" (living your life) a certain way?   

·       How close to burnout do you feel you are?  What are the environmental conditions and factors that have contributed to your fire burning out? 

·       Have you ever experienced "Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew"? 

Counselling can be a place to explore these themes in your own life, and to work out what you want and need in the process.  I'd welcome you getting in touch to find out more about how we might be able to work together, either through face-to-face counselling in Preston or via online counselling.  It's fine to email or text me to make first contact if that feels easier than making a phone call.  I'll aim to get back to you within my office hours on the same or next day.

References:

[1] Raymaker et al. (2020) "Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew": Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism Adulthood. Jun 1. 2(2):132-143.